Jul 17
  • Zambia


DAY 5.

Lusaka is a little colder than Ndola and as such  I was starting to peel and was quite ashy and lizard looking but  was on cloud 9 being here for the first time.

When I got up the kids had gone to school so it was just me and the maids, Josephine and Edith, very lovely women who had been with the family for years, I had a good hearty breakfast which saw me encounter the Hungarian sausage  variety. Zambia and it[s premier steak and humongous sausages had me wondering how I was ever going to look at the measly ones back home with respect! I feel like there’s some kind of sausage conspiracy going on here!

Just before lunch, (Mat had mentioned Fridays were an Nshima feast type affair,oh goody!)the kids got back and we got to hang out, Sanga is very lively and has stories for days, we bonded over our shared love of WWE wrestling, although I’ve since outgrown it but his eleven year old enthusiasm was alive and well, we also played Play station wrestling,  by played I mean I repeatedly got destroyed. To think I was once a Sega Mega drive champion!. Mutinta on the other hand is very quiet and reserved so I barely talked to her but she’s just as sweet as her brother, sweet little kids I tell you.

Mat and Sanga Sr got back for lunch and I had me the most satisfying home cooked local meal of my life. There was everything from Nshima, steak, okra and a whole lot of stuff I couldn't pronounce.In the evening Mat and I dropped the kids off at their cousins for a sleepover and went out for drinks.

We hit up Chicago's and had a couple of glasses of wine and just talked about life in general then left for her friend’s house who was having a small get together. On the way we picked up loads of Hunters and off we went.  The food was amazing, company great and  we also got an impromptu performance from one of the kids dabbing to Designer's Panda, Hilariously sweet!

By the time we got home, we were proper sloshed and stayed in the kitchen destroying leftovers and talking about everything from family to the weather! Good times.

DAY 6.

I woke up at about 8 am, disoriented and  hangover as hell  wondering where on earth I was, my solution was to turn left and pass out again. At midday, I got up and made a mad dash to get ready as I was supposed to be meeting Lulu that afternoon, Mat who was dying from lack of sleep dropped me at East Park Mall where we were to meet at John Dorys for lunch.

This mall is huge!  I did a little stroll around eventually bee lining for the restaurant as I needed some hair of the dog asap! The waiter serving me was pleasant enough but not as attentive to me as he was to the other white patrons. A clear theme everywhere i go and  the story of every natives life.Thing is, I too I’m a foreigner that tips so really, shouldn’t one just be consistent in ones' service providing? I digress.Two hours, one large milkshake and Hunters number 1 later, Lulu showed up.

It was surreal finally meeting someone I had interacted with extensively, only online for four years. We got on just fine, she came with her boyfriend Chongo, who left to go watch soccer.

I ordered for a small sushi platter, (should have gone for the mussels) and she had a crab salad. Those chopsticks were not my friends people! The struggle was real and it’s safe to say I thoroughly embarrassed my clan and nation. After some good minutes I gave in and tried to get a fork but all the staff had disappeared inside as all the white patrons had left, like really! Lulu told me she was quite immune to such nonsense,

After another Hunters, we ventured into the mall, checking out the clothes, shoes and make up stalls. I was having a really good day.As the evening progressed and it got colder, we went to Keg&Lion, a bar in the area, It’s got a great setup and attractive crowd.

We opted for the outside right next to the biggest heater thing I’d ever seen. We decided on cocktails, mojitos to start and damn, the service!!!!

The time it took to order one drink was equivalent to the time it took to drink said beverage and we all know no one chugs cocktails, it was painful. Later we had some pina coladas and ordered for a food platter,

While we waited into the next life, a group of white patrons came in and sat next to this Congolese couple on our left. I shit you not, they got served their drinks five minutes later to the complete annoyance of the gentleman next to us, he called over the waitress in outrage and tore her a new one. Turns out they had been there longer than us and were still waiting for their food but in waltzed  white patrons and look at the hurry to serve them! The manager came by to try and diffuse the situation but they were having none of it, their food did arrive like ten minutes after the debacle along with our order, I’ve watched some telemundos in my time, this wait was longer than them all combined!

Chongo joined us as the food platter arrived, the amount of food on this thing was menacing and I did my best but I figured Lulu could just do the whole take out thing with the rest.

Eventually it was time for me to leave but not before Chongo gave the waitress and manager a good talking to about the service and how it reflects badly on them. Mat picked me up. I was so stuffed from the food I could barely breathe, there had been talk of a night out with Lulu and her friends which I was really up for, but Mat's brother Lubinda who would have dropped and picked me up was out of town so that didn't fall through but it was fine, the day had been epic in itself, and I was beat.


DAY 7.

Sunday morning saw us go to church rather late as we'd all slept in. I haven't seen, let alone been in the vicinity of a church for over a decade so it’s nice I didn't get struck by lightning or anything sinister like that,

We then went to Mugg&Bean for brunch. It was great getting to go to all these restaurants and places I’d only seen advertised on DSTV,and the food did not disappoint, My favorite bit was the cheesecake, it was divine but then again I say this to all the other cheesecakes.!

Later Mat dropped me off at Arcades, a mall where different African crafts designers get together every Sunday to showcase and sell their merchandise. Going through the craft market, I picked up some cloth and art pieces and stumbled across some wonderful green gemstone jewelry boxes and I just had to have one. I went over to talk to the three men operating the stall and they all just ignored me for a good seven minutes, all three catering to this one white woman, who by the way didn't even buy anything in the end!  This behavior does exist in Uganda and throughout the planet I’m sure, but it’s not that bad in Uganda, Money is money, you will not be ignored like this. Granted it can be a very annoying experience in other ways but they'll take your money anyhow. Eventually I walked away and realizing I’d picked up most of what I wanted, I walked over to East Park again to go get my nails done at this fine salon,

Later on back home, we had Indian take out, butter and tandoori Chicken ,trust me there was absolutely no difference between the two sauces, what a rip off! I stayed up watching telly while the rest with work and school,Sanga Jr having gone on a school field trip for the next week, went to bed.

DAY 8.

Monday saw me stay in, eat, relax and just become one with the couch while catching up with my social media. To say I was incredibly comfortable with life would be an understatement as I didn’t miss home one bit.

DAY 9.

I had a light breakfast of fruit and yogurt because frankly I still hadn't fully digested the Hungarian sausage I’d had for dinner last night! Jesus!

This being my last day in Zambia, I was out for some adventure so I strapped on my boots and went to the museum that afternoon. Whoever the curator is, they’ve done a fine job. You'll find art work at the bottom floor and everything you would want to know about Zambia, be it political,social,cultural,and of course the witchcraft bit, No photos allowed here as well but this time the rebel in me prevailed!

Mat picked me up later and dropped me off at Manda Hill,I went through the mall, bought  some clothes on sale and made my way to Chicago's where I found the most delicious cocktail, the ‘Sexy Orgasm’, the most expensive one on the menu but worth every  last kwacha and just like that my life was made. By the time Mat and Tinta picked me up I was on number three.

We went to Protea Hotel for dinner with everyone, Mat,Tinta,Lubinda and Sanga sr.The view from the hotel was excellent and I hope someday I can come back and enjoy that rooftop pool.The food was excellent and the alcohol flowed which marked an excellent end to my incredible trip.


I was sad to go, honestly I  hadn't even missed home on account of the comfort, incredible hospitality and how well fed I was, Sanga Jr had written me the sweetest goodbye note which he'd left behind for me to find.Lubinda took me to the airport and about an hour later was off,

We stopped off in Zimbabwe for a bit, where they cleaned the plane and what not, and very efficient job it was.I had an overall pleasant flight with lots of wine.

I had a three hour stopover in Nairobi and even after all the duty free shopping I still had so much time to kill; I found a good seat outside the lounge and got intimately familiar with my playlists.

Finally at around 7 pm, we set off for Uganda, I was ravenous at this point as I had gotten so used to being fed regularly and on time, my system didn't want to hear any excuses. I remembered thinking to myself, if this airline gives me measly peanuts in this my hour of need, this relationship is beyond over!Thankfully, we got chicken sandwiches and drinks, and after a long forty five minutes, was back to my humid little patch of earth.

Mowa and Jo,thank you so very much for the hospitality and making Ndola the experience that it was for me ,I’ll be making full use of the jersey you got me Mowa. Mateele, you and your wonderful family are one in a million, thank you for inviting me into your home and having me. This was truly one of the best experiences of my life.

I hope to see you all soon.

Zambia it was real.

A week after I returned from Zambia, Mweshi was involved in a bus accident in Zimbabwe on his way to South Africa and passed away. Rest in Peace Mweshi, I’m glad I got to meet you.